查看完整版本: 笑话10则

笑话10则

1.某考察团来我校访问,临走时一行20人站在校门口准备照相留念.我刚好路过.
考察团其中一人拿着照相机对我说:"小兄弟,来照个像吧."
我大喜,兴匆匆地跑到第20个人旁边站着等说"茄子"
众人大汗!

评论 ：理解错了，是给大家帮忙，不是去 照相。

2.一哥们穿了一件切格瓦拉的大头那种T恤，特流行的那款。去坐公共汽车，对面站一小朋友和她的妈妈。小朋友看见他得T恤，跟妈妈说:妈妈，快看肯德基爷爷。。。哥们被雷到。。。后面妈妈说的更雷：孩子，那不是肯德基爷爷，那是雷锋叔叔。。。

评论：孩子的眼里有吃的，做母亲的眼里有雷锋。
。
3.和男朋友聊天，说到兴起，口水四溅，溅到了他脸上。然后他本能地用手擦去。我有点不好意思，但是故意转移重点装作很生气：“干嘛？嫌弃我啊？？”他满脸绅士般的笑容说：“没，抹匀！”

评论：这样的男朋友真是幽默，反应真快。

4.以前学校说要搞体检~
要大便做化验品,
然后每一个人都带上一点点去~
那个校友~用周大福的袋子和盒子装着.
然后走到半路~被人开摩托车抢走了

评论：现在的社会这么不安定吗，大白天就被抢吗？？

5.一女生朋友,胸特小,我们天天埋汰她,有一天此人终于忍无可忍,于是便冲我们喊到:"我胸小怎么地吧, 我随我爸,怎么地吧 !"

评论：这个女孩一定是气急了，才说出这么经典的话来！

6.今天带着家人去金山城市沙滩游泳，主要是陪孩子去玩沙子。
正在堆沙的过程中远处高台上的救生员（指挥员）用高音喇叭喊上了：带孩子的家长请注意，请看管好自己的小孩，特别是带着自己的孩子又带着别人的老婆的，请不要把自己的孩子扔在一边，我看得出来的！

评论：救生员的眼里真是不揉沙子，什么都能看的出来！

7. 大学的时候会有好几个班一起上的大课，超大的阶梯教室坐了一，两百号人。这种课除了前三排是听课的，后面就干嘛的都有了。早晨第一节是大课的话，经常有人带早饭进来吃，豆浆包子油条什么的，老师睁一只眼闭一只眼就算了。可是后来还是严令禁止上课吃早饭，因为有个哥们端了一碗馄饨进来……
那么大的教室难得的超安静，大家一起在弥漫的馄饨香和哥们奋力吃馄饨的吸溜吸溜声里沉默。

评论：真佩服这哥们有胆量吃的下去。

8. 话说那天晚自习，要下课了，我烟瘾犯了，于是到厕所抽烟。我在学校一般是边拉屎边抽烟的。我进了厕所，把身上最后一只烟叼在嘴上，然后进了蹲位，脱下裤子，蹲下，点火，一气呵成。这时，我电话响了，我头下意识的往下一埋…我最后一支烟就直接插到了粪坑里那驼屎上…。当时我一看四下无人，就把那支烟从屎里捡起来，还好，只在最前面沾了一点便便，把那节掐掉就好了。于是我掏出电话，一看是我一个哥们的，就跟他聊了起来。然后…我下意识的把那支烟叼在嘴里…… 正是沾上屎的那一头…瞬间战站起来…吐掉…冲向水龙头…漱口…然后发现没擦屁股…石化

评论：人都有倒霉的时候，这个哥们太惨了。

9.本地电视一个节目，主持人和小孩说话，小孩4岁
主持人：你叫什么名字口牙？
小孩：X小雨
主持人：为虾米叫小雨捏？
小孩：生我那天，下，下雪了
主持人：那为虾米不叫小雪捏？
小孩：你们家老爷们儿叫小雪啊？！
主持人：……

评论：这个小孩知道反击了，智商不低。

10. 上初中时有两个死party，一天玩完游戏很晚了，三个人走回家，路上没人，我和其中一位走在前面边走边聊刚才的战绩，聊着聊着突然感觉少了个人，回头看了看，马路上昏暗的灯光，一眼望过去，一个人没有，我们后背都发凉了，只好硬着头皮往回走，没几步只听见一声微弱的呻吟，循声找去，原来紧跟着我们的哥们掉排水井了，BH的是我们叫他的名字，他再没有应，为了确定有人，跟着我的同学竟然扔了块碎砖头进去了，听见惨叫，我们才确认是他的……

评论：其实笨方法是最有效的，就是要付出点代价。

1.要是我，应该会说不好意思，来是我单人先来一张，大家再合照吗。
2.这就叫代沟，有空叫雷锋和基爷谈谈，统一个方案出来，大家好辨别。
3.男友接吻口水都不知吞几升，事实证明那男友没撒谎。
4.真是抢匪知道里面是黄金，抢着吃啊。
5.遗传是不错，但女的奶子随她爸，下面不知有没有。
6.有点拗口，但是还是懂了，不就见色忘孩子，叫孩子他妈来照看孩子嘛。
7.这笑话不好笑，不就哥们二了点，老师在扯淡。
8.屎人至尊啊，叫你要抽烟，抽烟有害身体健康。
9.小孩回家问问爸爸，看是不是把雨和雪搞混了。
10.还好砖头不大不然就真嗝屁了，以后建议看到这样扔烟头，反正砸不死人的。

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