查看完整版本: 笑话十则

笑话十则

1. 回音

牙医(在检查病人的口腔):"你的牙上有个大洞!有个大洞."
病人(不高兴地):"是有个洞,可是你也不用说两遍呀."
牙医:"我只说了一遍.那是回音,是回音."

评论：这牙齿的洞还真厉害

2. 演习

漂亮的导游小姐带队到部队营地参观.突然旁边一队士兵放了一排枪,小姐一惊之下倒入陪同的连长怀里.
导游小姐赶紧红着脸说:"真对不起,我被你们的枪声吓着了."
连长说:"没关系的.你愿意看大炮演习吗?"

评论：大炮演习会怎样呢？

3. 鸡过河

小偷偷了一只鸡,正在河边给鸡拔毛,这时一个警察走了过来,小偷急忙把鸡仍到了河里.
警察问:"你在干什么?河里是什么东西?"
小偷说:"那是一只鸡,它要过河去,我在这里帮它看衣服..."

评论：这小偷的理由好牵强

4. 最新消息

电视新闻播音员正在播报新闻...

这时一张纸条送到他面前,他拿起纸条习惯性地说:"下面是本台
刚刚收到的消息..."接着打开纸条读起来:"伙计,你的门牙上还有一块菠菜叶...."

评论：这播音员估计要下岗了

5. 分工

老李坐在家门口乘凉,看着高速公路从从村里的田里穿过,气势壮观.
一会他看见开过来一辆车,在路边停下,下来一个人,在路边挖了一个坑,然后回到车里.
过了一会,车上下来另一个人,把坑又填上了.
车子向前走了一段距离,那个人又下来挖了个坑,过一会,又是另一个人把坑填上,
就这样,车子每走一段,就重复一次挖坑,休息,填坑....老李十分迷惑.
他忍不住跑过去问道:"你们在作什么?"
两个工人回答道:"我们三个在进行一项绿化高速公路的计划,今天负责栽树的那人病了!"

评论：挖坑填坑的工作拉动GDP啊，栽树的可以不来，工作还是要做的

6. 待所

一外地人到某地出差，想找招待所，便问路人："请问您知道招待所在哪儿吗?"
路人答到:"知道啊。你找赵大嫂干什么?"
"睡觉"，外地人回答说。

评论：很直接啊

7. 周到

鲨鱼看著一个滑浪风帆运动员说：「招待真周到。既有早餐，又有盘
子和餐巾。」

评论：滑浪风帆运动员的装备让鲨鱼都羡慕了

8. 停顿

某干部说话爱胡乱停顿,不分句读.一日奉新上任的王书记之命下基层坐在主席台上讲开了:"我就是王书记...."(一顿)
台下台上皆惊,以为书记微服私访,不由得战战兢兢细听下文."派来的....."
众皆释然,有人偷拭额汗."我是来搞妇女....."(又一顿)
众大惊,堂堂干部,何敢出此言?"工作的...."
众大笑.

评论：说话不能胡乱停顿啊，不然就乱套了

9. 专科

刚考获医生资格，仍有点飘飘然的年轻人，去看他的家庭医生，告诉他现在他们已成了同行。
「你大概有意做专科医生？」老医生说。
「对的，」年轻医生说，「专看鼻病。耳和喉过於复杂，不能和鼻子并为一科。」
「真的吗？」老医生说，「你预备专看那一个鼻孔？」

评论：姜还是老的辣

10. 走回来

在外面待了一个星期的村民，脚步蹒跚的回到家里，衣履不周，筋疲力竭。
「你到那里去了？」他妻子问。
「我到树林里去查看酿酒蒸馏器，一只大熊突然在我面前出现。我拼命逃跑，终於摆脱了它。我从来没有跑过那样快！」
那是一星期以前的事，後来你到哪里去了？」
村民倒在椅子上，说：「走回来！」

评论：这人走得也太慢了吧。

1看来以后在床上也不能对妻子大声的说话了
2那看要是哪个大炮了，哈哈
3鸡在洗澡 我在帮她看衣服  回味无穷啊
4我听过牙上挂韭菜叶那个版本的
5搞工程的就是这样 总是拖拖拉拉的
6看来这个赵大婶就是招待所
7看来这只鲨鱼今晚有美餐了
8说话的语气停顿很重要
9我要看下面的那个空！哈哈
10看来以后长跑运动员后面要跟着一头熊才行！

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