palaba 2011-4-26 22:16
小笑话 [两个都在] UP
1.两个都在
某乡乡长和书记下乡抓计划生育，找到一个男计生对象，他老婆以为做结扎手术是要阉掉两个蛋，恳请乡长和书记说：乡长书记，无论如何要留一个呵。
手术完成后乡长问她满不满意，
农妇连声说：谢谢乡长书记，两个都在。
评语:政府要加强性课程在农村。
2.见鬼了
一天晚上,王先生将他的狗放到屋外小便，然后看电视忘了将狗放进来，当他想到开门时吓了一跳，因为他的狗叼着邻居的猫，而且猫已经死了。
“死狗！臭狗！烂狗！！”王先生在骂了一阵后，冷靜地思考该怎么办。
他不敢告诉他的邻居，因此他決定将猫清理干净放到邻居的走廊假装没事。
于是他将猫提到浴室，将猫身上的血跡和泥污洗掉，他不断重复的沖洗，洗了四次才算洗干净；接着他将猫吹干并梳毛美容，整整花了三个小时才搞定，然后他趁着夜黑风高，神不知鬼不觉的将猫放到邻居的门廊上。
第二天，他出门上班时，他的邻居叫住他：“嗨！王先生，昨晚真是见鬼了。”
王先生紧张的冷汗直流，道：“喔！是吗？什么事？”
“昨天早上我的猫死了，我埋了它，今天早上它竟然跟平常一样躺在我家門口。。。
评语：这猫可能就埋在狗撒尿的地方。
3.意思意思
某日，老杨带着宝贝儿子捧着一盒包装精美的糖果登门造访。
临走时，坚持留下那礼物，说：“根号二啊，收下吧！”
“根号二？”我一听不禁愣住了。
哪知那8岁的鬼精灵接着说：“根号二等于1.41421……，读起来就是‘意思意思而已’啦！”我不禁莞尔一笑。
评语：送礼少了，重了，都是√2，委婉回答总是好的。
4.两包花生
有三个人去杂货店买东西，老板就问第一个人说：“你要买什么？”
第一个人说：“我要买一包花生。”
老板就搬弹子，爬到仓库拿了一包花生给他。
老板又问第二个人：“你要买什么？”
第二个人说：“我要一包花生。”
老板就说：“你怎么不早说？”
这时老板有点不爽，但还是要去拿，所以又搬梯子爬到仓库上去拿。
爬的时候他就问第三个人：“你也是要一包花生吗？”
第三个说：“不是。”
老板就拿了一包花生给第二个人，然后把梯子收好。
他便问第三个人说：“那你要什么？”
第三个人说：“我要两包花生。”
评语：老板那时是不是在想不我开店了。
5.明天再来
某强盗近日手头颇紧，于是持着白沟买来的假手枪，蹿到北邮财会处行劫。
“把钱交出来！”强盗大喝，会计头都没抬：“下班了，明天再来！”
强盗惶惶而出。
评语：做人吗，就是识趣。这强盗多识趣啊。
6.卫生间
我曾在一家酒店吃饭，席间内急，问服务员卫生间在哪？
服务员很热情的说：“对不起，我们酒店没有卫生间，不过你可以去对面公厕，先生。因为我们和他们有约定！”
我起身便去，刚出门身后又传来服务员的声音：“到那你就说你是‘吃饭的’！”
评语：现在什么生意都要合资啊。
7.嫁给我，好吗
小男孩对小女孩说：“等你长大了嫁给我，好吗？”
小女孩摇摇头：“不行”。
“为什么？”男孩很疑惑
“我们家都是亲戚结婚的，比如：我奶奶嫁给了我爷爷，我妈妈嫁给了我爸爸，就连我哥哥都是娶了我嫂嫂！”。。。
评语：小女孩只是太纯了，纯的什么都可以看透了。
8.新婚第一夜
新婚第一夜，新娘子为了“办事”，早就换上了漂亮的丝睡袍，作出诱惑的姿势躺在床上。
可是一个小时过去了，新郎还是穿得好好的看着窗外，新娘不耐烦地提醒他：“怎么不脱衣服上床来？”
他回答说：“你先睡吧！不要管我，因为我妈妈跟我讲过，今天晚上是我所能见到的最美妙的一个晚上，所以现在我不想浪费任何一秒钟看夜景的机会。”
评语：难道就是淫威不能屈吗？还是一个GAY啊。
yanp 2011-4-27 23:35
1，男人听过包扎，难道也需要做结扎手术吗？怎么结扎？
2，王先生人不厚道，猫死了偷偷的埋了得了，还给人送回去，还清洗干净
3,8岁的孩子就会算高数，真是个天才了
4，如果我去买花生，我会告诉老板，我不买三包，又不买了，他放下了再买，折腾他，卖东西的竟然嫌客人麻烦，顾客是上帝
5，这个强盗没前途，不适合做强盗
6，进厕所不说是吃饭的要收两次费的，吃完饭后餐巾纸是不是也要去公厕取啊
7，小孩的想法就是天真，有时候真好笑，我喜欢小孩
8，娶了媳妇忘了娘，这傻小子怎么这会还惦记娘说的话的
m122230906 2011-5-27 12:21
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sii2013 2011-5-28 13:36
杂货店老板可能要被气死了，爬了一次又一次再一次的。
moguibaobao111 2011-5-28 16:16
那个猫的笑死我了，这都不害怕，活见鬼啊！！！
renkeke123 2011-5-28 17:30
1楼得评价真的是太给力了啊，我不得不承认，你比写笑话的还有才。
achillesx 2011-5-29 15:06
笑话的精髓在于前文大量的伏笔与包袱，把读到的人的思维引向错误的方向，最后才把谜底揭晓。第一个笑话还差那么点意思
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